I have been reading fanfiction for nine years. I love it. I have met some truly talented authors and read some exciting tales through FF.net, but I have a list of grievances that won't let me be.
If you want people read and review your work here are some simple solutions when writing fanfiction.
1. Check your Grammar! I'm serious. I understand that there are writers out there to whom the English language is a second language and I forgive them, but to the rest of you out there. Check your damn grammar. We are not in elementary school anymore. You should know the difference between 'You're' and 'Your'. It makes your piece look sloppy. I understand that errors happen. You'll find errors in my work, but I do make an effort to correct them. You should do the same!
2. Enough with the damn Ipods! It's a magical world and I understand writers' especially in the HP universe to want to input a bit of Muggle technology into the universe of magic, but if I have to read one more story where some (probably teenager) puts an iPod or other Apple product into a fanfiction I am going to stop reading it. Firstly, it annoys me because the timeline. In HP the series ends in 1998. iPods were not around then. While I thought it was strange the way JK set up the timeline for the series, I respect the fact that it was her story! And when writers mess with the timeline offering up iPods and other Apple products, it just makes me want to smack some sense into the writer. And secondly, it annoys me because it is such a yuppie trendy poser move. A writer can write in Muggle music technology and not sound like a d-bag. The fact that writers add that bit in there just proves to me, as the reader, that the writer lacks creativity and intelligence due to the fact that they bought into this idea that Apple is somehow more than a company. Now I may sound like I hate Apple and I do, but I do own an iPod. And there are times when I want to just ditch the thing, but it plays my music and so I have kept it. I don't, however, buy into that trendy idea that iPods are a status symbol. It's a freaking iPod. That's all! It will not make you cooler, it will not make you smarter, but the fact that you bought into that idea that it would do all those things probably makes you less intelligent. If you want to buy into that trendy status symbol nonsense then by all means do so, but keep it out of your fanfiction.
3. POV, enough with the flip floppin'. I am beyond fed up with authors flip flopping their points of view in a story. I will stop reading it and probably send you a nasty review. And here is why... it confuses the reader. It doesn't make you cool like Stephanie Meyer, it makes you look idiotic. If you want to do first person then do first person, while it isn't my favorite POV of story telling I will accept it. If you feel the need to tell a story from multiple points of view then do third person. You can jump around to each character and share their insights. I have noticed an increase in this over the past couple of years in the land of Fanfiction and makes me wonder if English teachers are just not teaching about third person properly. Keep it consistent otherwise your readers will be confused and probably ditch your fanfiction without reviewing it.
Those are my three major grievances of fanfiction. I probably have more, but I am cold and need to put on some socks. For all you Michiganders out there and others of the Midwest, stay warm!
About Me
- Bandgeek252
- I'm librarian by education, techie by profession, and reader by passion!
Showing posts with label JK Rowling.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JK Rowling.. Show all posts
Monday, January 2, 2012
Friday, October 21, 2011
Deathly Hallows- A review
Disclaimer: Before I even begin my very long rant about this horrid book I want to state that I am a fan of Harry Potter. I have been an avid fan since high school while sneaking in paragraphs of PoA during sophomore math class. That being said, I am writing this to vent my frustration over the book (not the movies as I refuse to see Part II). I am not trying to bring anyone down or cut JKR to ribbons, but there are some things I wish to express. This is a work of pure opinion. Comments are welcome and debate would be even better, but let's be cool, no?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
An Overview: When I first read this I was super excited for the dramatic conclusion of this wonderful series. I had loved the first five and kind of liked the sixth... so I wanted to see what happened. After devouring the book I was left with a horrid taste in my mouth I just couldn't explain. I wanted DESPERATELY to like this book, but just couldn't work up enough love for it. After some discussions, reading some fanfiction (believe it or not!) and reading others reviews I finally could put a finger on what didn't set right with me. And I've separated it out for easy reading...
Plot: For the first five (possibly the sixth) books there was a pretty structured plot. It had a smooth flow and a smooth follow through. Most plots could be easily figured out by an advanced reader and that isn't a bad thing, but the seventh book was so out of sync with its other six brothers that I felt uncomfortable reading it. I figured that because of the war JKR wanted the plot to seem chaotic, but it felt unbelievably awkward. Depth was added in the most bizarre places. The Hallows and Horcruxes were on my list of my annoyances.
Hermione: Yes she gets her own section, because this disappointed me more than anything. Hermione for the first five books was my FAVORITE character. I adored her spirit, her courage, and depth. She was not only incredibly brilliant and brave, but witty and independent. And then for books six and seven JKR destroyed her! This was the girl who loved her friends so much that she took away Harry's broom in third year despite the outcast it made her amongst her friends. That takes guts for a fourteen insecure girl to go against her friends like that. This is the same girl that stood by Harry when everyone (including Ron I'd like to add) turned against him in the GoF and knew that the Ministry mission in the fifth book was going to be trap (and she went anyway!). After turning Hermione into a whiny little preteen in HBP, JKR ruins her further in DH. She spends days crying over Ron and then forgives him in practically a blink of an eye. And Ron's constant immaturity throughout the series annoys me to no end, but when they get together in the end... I just wanted to barf. An independent, brilliant, and all around badass girl would hardly be interested in a manboy who takes off after things get a bit tough. Geez! Why would she ever take him back? Why would she get with him to begin with? I am a firm believer if Ron and Hermione were ever going to be a pairing it should have been at the end of OotP. After the ministry mishap Ron should have woken up at that moment. I see my long time crush laying on ground cursed... I don't go out with Lavender Brown.
Another thing that always bothered me was the fact that her sacrifice was so unsung. She took her parents' memories and sent them to Australia. She basically orphaned herself with a possibility of never seeing them again. And Harry and Ron just brushed it off as if it was nothing. Her parents are the only family she is noted with having. Losing them even if it was only in memory must have still been hard. She just brushed it off as if it was nothing... I call bad character development!
Horcruxes/Hallows: This was just stupid. I could see the need for her to explain why Voldemort lived, but did it have to be that lame? I just didn't care for it. I feel that saying less is always more. Similar to how annoyed Star Wars fans were when midichlorians were explained. Somethings just don't need to be explained. I wasn't as enthralled by how Voldemort lived. There were thousands of other options out there. It's author's choice and that's the direction she chose, but I still think it was lame. To ease my annoyance for this I read AU fanfiction and some fans give better endings and explainations than she did. And a fanfic writer pointed out something interesting, "7. If Basilisk venom destroys horcruxes, why didn't it destroy the (stupid) Horcrux in Harry when he was bitten in the Chamber of Secrets?" (Muggledad).
I thought the Hallows were another dumb edition. If the Elder wand was so freakin' powerful than why couldn't Dumbledore have defeated Voldemort the several times he had an opportunity to? Muggledad pointed something else out that I found interesting, " Harry used a Protego shield spell to protect Molly Weasley from a Killing Curse? What is that all about? Don't say it was because of the Deathstick or I shall slap you vigorously. If it was the Deathstick's power, wouldn't Dumbledore have used it to protect hundreds?" (Muggledad).
Here is a fanfiction that I thought did a better job with the prophecy than she did. What a Witch Needs
The War: *Sigh* I sigh, because this is such a lengthy discussion. There is so much bad here, I just don't think I can hit everything. So I'll try to hit the important parts.
1. The Order of the Phoenix was basically neutered in this book. I mean what exactly did they do besides PotterWatch (which was bloody brilliant I might add)? They were so ineffectual that they didn't do anything until they got to the Final Battle. And partly this was Harry's fault. One of things I have always loathed with Harry is his idea that "I can be only one" garbage. When you have a massive force working to help you, you don't turn your back on them! The three of them running off was just super stupid. The DA coins worked for Neville, why didn't Harry think of using them so they could communicate with the Order. And don't hand me that argument that "ohhh people will get hurt", it's fecking war! Good people are going to die so why do you feel the need to live in the woods ignoring everyone that could help you. Now I realize that Dumbledore gave them a mission (more on that Manipulative Ass later) and they couldn't share that, but they could have used the Order houses, jumping from one house to another trying to figure it out. But no they basically told all the grown ups to piss off without so much of a thanks.
2. Dumbledore's Army was so unsung. They could have been better utilized. I feel that Neville was three times the leader that Harry was. Harry was a whiny, ineffectual leader because he kept pushing people away. There are fanfics out there that write him as a much better leader, but JKR didn't which annoyed me. Neville communicated with Aberforth and other students to keep their spirits up and kept fighting for the cause he believed in. He listened to others and used other's talents to help with the fight. Something Harry rarely does! Unless it's Hermione.
Here is a fanfiction that covers Neville and Dumbledore's Army better. Dumbledore's Army: Year of Darkness
3. The Final Battle pissed me off in so many ways. It felt like JKR just wanted to up the body count so she just started randomly killing off characters with no emotion or thought. Characters that I loved she just tossed aside like nothing in her story and I am of the opinion she did this solely to up the drama. I call bad writing on that! Fred dying from a wall just pissed me off. So heartless... at least she could have made him have a hero's death. Remus and Tonks killed off without a glance. And what annoyed me is that most of the deaths were adults. How were kids able to survive when the full grown, lived through two wars, adults were dropping like flies? And why the hell was Tonks even there? She had just given birth to Teddy not even a month before the final battle. And don't give me "Well magic will make you heal faster." If you use that excuse then you obvious have never dealt with a newborn. Newborns take a lot out of you especially if you're a mom. So if Remus had been the kind of man I thought him to be, he would have locked her up. Not being sexist, but stating fact. Having a baby is kind rough on your body and in that world probably magic too. There was more attention to Dobby's death than Remus, Fred, or Tonks. Oh and what the hell... the greatest dark wizard ever gets killed by a disarming spell?? Really? That was kind of lame and anti-climactic.
Dumbledore: This man pissed me off to no end for his unending manipulations. The way he used Snape pissed me off to no end. For years he ordered Snape to do this or do that for the Order and while most of it made sense, he asked Snape to basically sacrifice himself in the end. He knew that the Elder wand was in Draco's hand and by having Snape kill him, he led everyone Voldemort included to think that Snape was the master of the Elder wand. So either he set Snape or Draco up for death, because Voldemort was going to go after the Elder wand and when he did Dumbledore knew he would most likely kill Snape. Bastard! And those lame instructions and tools he gave Harry, Ron, and Hermione was so annoying. I wanted to be able to send JKR a Howler for that. It's like "Great! Thanks Dumbledore for all this junk that you think will be helpful, but we're trying to fight a fecking war here!" So many things could have gone horribly wrong and he was gambling from beyond the grave that Harry and gang would smart enough to figure it out. Question: If you knew you were going to die and leave this nearly impossible mission to a sixteen/seventeen year old kid and friends then wouldn't you give better instructions to your Order and these kids. They should have been properly trained, but no... master of strategy decides to chuck them out in the world with nothing but a deluminator, a book, and snitch. Bad plot development!
Snape: He was one of the best developed characters and that isn't saying much, because by the end of the series his character if finally explained in a series of flashbacks. That felt a little cheap to me. I loved the unrequited love feature, but I think it made him sound instead of endearing which was most likely her aim rather obsessive and creepy.
Draco: I was so hoping for JKR to redeem this boy. He had so much potential to turn away from the dark side, but no she decided to make him a flat evil/neutral character which just made me mad. In the sixth book I thought Draco had some depth. Instead of being the spoiled little brat "My father will hear about this." git he was, Draco was growing up with Voldemort living in his house, holding his family honor and lives over this sixteen year old's head. It made me start to warm to the idea of Draco turning and in DH I expected it. I was reading the Malfoy Manor part and just hoping that by the end he would turn it all around, but he didn't! Bad character development. He could have been the redeeming hero at the end. A Spike at the end of the fourth season of Buffy. Yeah he turned to the good guys for personal gain, but he still turned from the dark side. With a story filled with so much redemption, why did she deny Draco his chance to shine? Grr!
And last, but not least the fecking EPILOGUE: I was already annoyed with the book by this point, but the epilogue was so poorly done I wanted to hurl. It was so childish and it felt incredibly cheap to me. I have read that JK wanted to expand the epilogue and couldn't... I'm sorry about that. I would love to have seen the original, but I fear it still wouldn't have saved my lunch. The pairings were so poorly put together I wanted to scream. Harry and Ginny got together made little sense to me. I always wanted to see Ginny and Ron as twins so she could be the fourth member of the team. She could have been so much better written and really smoothed out the group a bit, but no JKR seems to write Ginny (expect for a few parts throughout the series) similar to a fangirl who has a TeenBeat crush on the Boy Who Lived. Honestly I thought her and Neville would have been cuter. And Ron and Hermione also made little sense as I stated above, but what irked me and made me want to barf was the fact that their kids' names were Rose and Hugo for Ron and Hermione. Did you notice that? Bleh! I also thought Draco ending up with Astoria Greengrass was out of left field. All I can say is THANK GOD FOR FANFICTION! Overall this story did have some good parts.
Good Parts:
1. Dobby's death was handled very well.
2. Getting the locket was a pretty interesting scene
3. PotterWatch
4. Neville and Dumbledore's Army
5. Minerva and Flitwick kicking Snape's ass. (I love Snape, but that was just funny!)
6. Molly fighting Bellatrix (Nice!)
7. Godric Hollow
So there is my rant for Deathly Hallows. I am thinking about doing more of these for the other books. Discussion is welcomed.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
An Overview: When I first read this I was super excited for the dramatic conclusion of this wonderful series. I had loved the first five and kind of liked the sixth... so I wanted to see what happened. After devouring the book I was left with a horrid taste in my mouth I just couldn't explain. I wanted DESPERATELY to like this book, but just couldn't work up enough love for it. After some discussions, reading some fanfiction (believe it or not!) and reading others reviews I finally could put a finger on what didn't set right with me. And I've separated it out for easy reading...
Plot: For the first five (possibly the sixth) books there was a pretty structured plot. It had a smooth flow and a smooth follow through. Most plots could be easily figured out by an advanced reader and that isn't a bad thing, but the seventh book was so out of sync with its other six brothers that I felt uncomfortable reading it. I figured that because of the war JKR wanted the plot to seem chaotic, but it felt unbelievably awkward. Depth was added in the most bizarre places. The Hallows and Horcruxes were on my list of my annoyances.
Hermione: Yes she gets her own section, because this disappointed me more than anything. Hermione for the first five books was my FAVORITE character. I adored her spirit, her courage, and depth. She was not only incredibly brilliant and brave, but witty and independent. And then for books six and seven JKR destroyed her! This was the girl who loved her friends so much that she took away Harry's broom in third year despite the outcast it made her amongst her friends. That takes guts for a fourteen insecure girl to go against her friends like that. This is the same girl that stood by Harry when everyone (including Ron I'd like to add) turned against him in the GoF and knew that the Ministry mission in the fifth book was going to be trap (and she went anyway!). After turning Hermione into a whiny little preteen in HBP, JKR ruins her further in DH. She spends days crying over Ron and then forgives him in practically a blink of an eye. And Ron's constant immaturity throughout the series annoys me to no end, but when they get together in the end... I just wanted to barf. An independent, brilliant, and all around badass girl would hardly be interested in a manboy who takes off after things get a bit tough. Geez! Why would she ever take him back? Why would she get with him to begin with? I am a firm believer if Ron and Hermione were ever going to be a pairing it should have been at the end of OotP. After the ministry mishap Ron should have woken up at that moment. I see my long time crush laying on ground cursed... I don't go out with Lavender Brown.
Another thing that always bothered me was the fact that her sacrifice was so unsung. She took her parents' memories and sent them to Australia. She basically orphaned herself with a possibility of never seeing them again. And Harry and Ron just brushed it off as if it was nothing. Her parents are the only family she is noted with having. Losing them even if it was only in memory must have still been hard. She just brushed it off as if it was nothing... I call bad character development!
Horcruxes/Hallows: This was just stupid. I could see the need for her to explain why Voldemort lived, but did it have to be that lame? I just didn't care for it. I feel that saying less is always more. Similar to how annoyed Star Wars fans were when midichlorians were explained. Somethings just don't need to be explained. I wasn't as enthralled by how Voldemort lived. There were thousands of other options out there. It's author's choice and that's the direction she chose, but I still think it was lame. To ease my annoyance for this I read AU fanfiction and some fans give better endings and explainations than she did. And a fanfic writer pointed out something interesting, "7. If Basilisk venom destroys horcruxes, why didn't it destroy the (stupid) Horcrux in Harry when he was bitten in the Chamber of Secrets?" (Muggledad).
I thought the Hallows were another dumb edition. If the Elder wand was so freakin' powerful than why couldn't Dumbledore have defeated Voldemort the several times he had an opportunity to? Muggledad pointed something else out that I found interesting, " Harry used a Protego shield spell to protect Molly Weasley from a Killing Curse? What is that all about? Don't say it was because of the Deathstick or I shall slap you vigorously. If it was the Deathstick's power, wouldn't Dumbledore have used it to protect hundreds?" (Muggledad).
Here is a fanfiction that I thought did a better job with the prophecy than she did. What a Witch Needs
The War: *Sigh* I sigh, because this is such a lengthy discussion. There is so much bad here, I just don't think I can hit everything. So I'll try to hit the important parts.
1. The Order of the Phoenix was basically neutered in this book. I mean what exactly did they do besides PotterWatch (which was bloody brilliant I might add)? They were so ineffectual that they didn't do anything until they got to the Final Battle. And partly this was Harry's fault. One of things I have always loathed with Harry is his idea that "I can be only one" garbage. When you have a massive force working to help you, you don't turn your back on them! The three of them running off was just super stupid. The DA coins worked for Neville, why didn't Harry think of using them so they could communicate with the Order. And don't hand me that argument that "ohhh people will get hurt", it's fecking war! Good people are going to die so why do you feel the need to live in the woods ignoring everyone that could help you. Now I realize that Dumbledore gave them a mission (more on that Manipulative Ass later) and they couldn't share that, but they could have used the Order houses, jumping from one house to another trying to figure it out. But no they basically told all the grown ups to piss off without so much of a thanks.
2. Dumbledore's Army was so unsung. They could have been better utilized. I feel that Neville was three times the leader that Harry was. Harry was a whiny, ineffectual leader because he kept pushing people away. There are fanfics out there that write him as a much better leader, but JKR didn't which annoyed me. Neville communicated with Aberforth and other students to keep their spirits up and kept fighting for the cause he believed in. He listened to others and used other's talents to help with the fight. Something Harry rarely does! Unless it's Hermione.
Here is a fanfiction that covers Neville and Dumbledore's Army better. Dumbledore's Army: Year of Darkness
3. The Final Battle pissed me off in so many ways. It felt like JKR just wanted to up the body count so she just started randomly killing off characters with no emotion or thought. Characters that I loved she just tossed aside like nothing in her story and I am of the opinion she did this solely to up the drama. I call bad writing on that! Fred dying from a wall just pissed me off. So heartless... at least she could have made him have a hero's death. Remus and Tonks killed off without a glance. And what annoyed me is that most of the deaths were adults. How were kids able to survive when the full grown, lived through two wars, adults were dropping like flies? And why the hell was Tonks even there? She had just given birth to Teddy not even a month before the final battle. And don't give me "Well magic will make you heal faster." If you use that excuse then you obvious have never dealt with a newborn. Newborns take a lot out of you especially if you're a mom. So if Remus had been the kind of man I thought him to be, he would have locked her up. Not being sexist, but stating fact. Having a baby is kind rough on your body and in that world probably magic too. There was more attention to Dobby's death than Remus, Fred, or Tonks. Oh and what the hell... the greatest dark wizard ever gets killed by a disarming spell?? Really? That was kind of lame and anti-climactic.
Dumbledore: This man pissed me off to no end for his unending manipulations. The way he used Snape pissed me off to no end. For years he ordered Snape to do this or do that for the Order and while most of it made sense, he asked Snape to basically sacrifice himself in the end. He knew that the Elder wand was in Draco's hand and by having Snape kill him, he led everyone Voldemort included to think that Snape was the master of the Elder wand. So either he set Snape or Draco up for death, because Voldemort was going to go after the Elder wand and when he did Dumbledore knew he would most likely kill Snape. Bastard! And those lame instructions and tools he gave Harry, Ron, and Hermione was so annoying. I wanted to be able to send JKR a Howler for that. It's like "Great! Thanks Dumbledore for all this junk that you think will be helpful, but we're trying to fight a fecking war here!" So many things could have gone horribly wrong and he was gambling from beyond the grave that Harry and gang would smart enough to figure it out. Question: If you knew you were going to die and leave this nearly impossible mission to a sixteen/seventeen year old kid and friends then wouldn't you give better instructions to your Order and these kids. They should have been properly trained, but no... master of strategy decides to chuck them out in the world with nothing but a deluminator, a book, and snitch. Bad plot development!
Snape: He was one of the best developed characters and that isn't saying much, because by the end of the series his character if finally explained in a series of flashbacks. That felt a little cheap to me. I loved the unrequited love feature, but I think it made him sound instead of endearing which was most likely her aim rather obsessive and creepy.
Draco: I was so hoping for JKR to redeem this boy. He had so much potential to turn away from the dark side, but no she decided to make him a flat evil/neutral character which just made me mad. In the sixth book I thought Draco had some depth. Instead of being the spoiled little brat "My father will hear about this." git he was, Draco was growing up with Voldemort living in his house, holding his family honor and lives over this sixteen year old's head. It made me start to warm to the idea of Draco turning and in DH I expected it. I was reading the Malfoy Manor part and just hoping that by the end he would turn it all around, but he didn't! Bad character development. He could have been the redeeming hero at the end. A Spike at the end of the fourth season of Buffy. Yeah he turned to the good guys for personal gain, but he still turned from the dark side. With a story filled with so much redemption, why did she deny Draco his chance to shine? Grr!
And last, but not least the fecking EPILOGUE: I was already annoyed with the book by this point, but the epilogue was so poorly done I wanted to hurl. It was so childish and it felt incredibly cheap to me. I have read that JK wanted to expand the epilogue and couldn't... I'm sorry about that. I would love to have seen the original, but I fear it still wouldn't have saved my lunch. The pairings were so poorly put together I wanted to scream. Harry and Ginny got together made little sense to me. I always wanted to see Ginny and Ron as twins so she could be the fourth member of the team. She could have been so much better written and really smoothed out the group a bit, but no JKR seems to write Ginny (expect for a few parts throughout the series) similar to a fangirl who has a TeenBeat crush on the Boy Who Lived. Honestly I thought her and Neville would have been cuter. And Ron and Hermione also made little sense as I stated above, but what irked me and made me want to barf was the fact that their kids' names were Rose and Hugo for Ron and Hermione. Did you notice that? Bleh! I also thought Draco ending up with Astoria Greengrass was out of left field. All I can say is THANK GOD FOR FANFICTION! Overall this story did have some good parts.
Good Parts:
1. Dobby's death was handled very well.
2. Getting the locket was a pretty interesting scene
3. PotterWatch
4. Neville and Dumbledore's Army
5. Minerva and Flitwick kicking Snape's ass. (I love Snape, but that was just funny!)
6. Molly fighting Bellatrix (Nice!)
7. Godric Hollow
So there is my rant for Deathly Hallows. I am thinking about doing more of these for the other books. Discussion is welcomed.
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